Letters to Beth
by TicTacToe218
Summary: Beth was born, then she died. She lived for no more than 5 minutes. QUinn didn't go to school for 2 weeks after and the glee club wrote letters to Beth. When Quinn reads them what does she think?
1. Envelopes

*You guys must hate me for always writing stories about if Beth died but I just wanted to do this one for the letters. I actually really wish they'd kept Beth. But enjoy and review

I walked in the door of the choir room and everyone turned to stare. Great just what I need! I think as I see the sympathy in their eyes.

"QUINN!" Rachel screams and jumps up to hug me.

I just stand there, not really bothered to do much else. I couldn't even be bothered to dodge Rachel's hug. Maybe it was because I was still hurting or maybe I was trying to avoid his eyes.

"What's with the envelopes?" I asked when Rachel finally released me.

They all blushed and looked down.

"We thought we should get our feelings out about the baby on paper." Rachel finally admitted "My idea." She said proudly and my brain went into overload.

"I don't care if it was your freaking idea." I yelled at them all for nearly five minutes and they all stood there in silence looking at their feet. "I knew I shouldn't have come back. By the way it's not the baby. It's Beth." I said before storming out of the choir room leaving every one stunned.

I sat on the step crying. It was raining and I had no way of getting home so I sat there like I had so many times in the past month.

"Hey." Said his voice. I looked up to see Puck holding a plastic bag.

"What do you want?" It was meant to sound bitchy and cold but it came out shaky and soft

"To see if you're alright. Are you?" He sat down next to me.

"Oh yeah perfect." I said rolling my eyes.

"Whatever. The others talked and we decided you should read these." He handed me the bag. I knew it held the envelopes from before but I took it anyway.

"I guess I can."

"So are you coming back to school Monday?" I hadn't been to school for the two weeks since.

"Probably not. I can't handle the looks and words of sympathy."

"I'm sure if Noah Puckerman can then Quinn Fabray could easily." He smirked

"No. I can't. You don't know what it's like." I snapped

"Yeah I do she was my daughter too." He sounded hurt

"But did you carry her for nine months? Did you hold her limp body in your arms? I don't think you did." I put my head in my hands

"But I was still her father." He insisted.

"But no one at school cares. You're still just bad ass Puck, I'm sad crazy Quinn." I sighed "You blame me don't you."

"No."

"You do don't hide it. I blame me too." Puck went silent. Quinn just assumed he was playing dumb.

"Quinn I don't blame you for anything that happened." He paused after each word

"Then who? WHO DO YOU BLAME?" She yelled

"I'm-I don't know. I just blame everyone." He muttered

"So you blame your sister then for asking me to play dolls with her or you blame Miss Pillsbury for the guidance she tried to give us." She raised her eyebrows

"No. I mean I blame everything and myself. But not you. I blame myself for not saying 'Quinn quite cheerleading already' or 'Mr Shue don't let Quinn dance'" Quinn looked back at her shoes

"So you do blame me then? For not taking it easy, for not looking after our baby."

"No that's not wha-"

"Save it for someone else Puck. I know you blame me I blame me too. I also know it's stupid but it helps to blame someone." She got up

"At least read the letters." He said throwing her the bag.

"Whatever." She walked off with the bag.


	2. Rachel's Letter

Quinn sat on her bed finally glad to have some privacy. She'd told her mom glee had been cancelled that day and she was tired and going upstairs for an early night. She reached over to her bedside table to see the next movie on her pile. The Orphan.

Ever since Beth had passed Quinn had watched horror movie after horror movie, before then she'd never seen one. She got scared enough when her sister had sleepovers and she could hear the movie's dialogue through the walls.

"Quinnie sweety?" She heard her mom's voice ask from the other side of the door. Quinn sighed and paused the movie.

"Yes." She would've said come in but Quinn limited her speech now.

"I was wondering if you wanted this? You left it on the table when you came in." Her mother was holding the bag of letters. Quinn shrugged then nudged her head so her mom knew to put the bag down on the bed.

"Thanks." She murmured before her mother rushed out. Quinn wondered why her mother had left so fast, normally she backed out slowly asking if she wanted anything. Quinn glanced back to the screen then smiled a little. Quinn had paused it exactly as it showed Esther's bone sticking up in her arm.

When the movie finished it was almost 12. Quinn decided she should just go ahead and read the letters. She reached into the bag and grabbed a random one out.

When she opened it she saw it was Rachel's and sighed.

_Dearest Elizabeth Fabray-Puckerman, Lost daughter or Noah and Quinn. _

_Well I just want to say thank you because you got Quinn (your mom) to be more involved in glee and once she joined your dad joined and after the baby lie came out Finn was finally able to break up with Quinn and express his feelings to me._

_Although I think it may have been the bump your mom had on stage that made us come second, I mean they'd think we were a crap school or something._

_Well just so you know baby Elizabeth your mom is depressed now and glee club only has eleven members till she returns so thanks a lot._

_Sincerely Rachel Barbra Berry*_

_PS:I would've put your middle name if I knew it _


	3. First Reply

*Sorry it took so long*

Quinn got out a piece of paper. She decided she was going to reply to all the letters, starting with Rachel's.

_To undearest Rachel,_

_Thanks for the extremely rude and selfish letter you wrote to my daughter. Makes me glad she died because I'd rather her die than meet you._

_In the words of Miranda off the Devil Wears Parada, That is all._

Quinn smiled she wished she could see Rachel's face when she read it. She put it in an envelope and placed it in an empty paper bag which she had written _Glee Club_ on.

"Time for the next letter." Her voice was sarcastic but she pulled out the next letter on the pile. "This will be fun." She muttered after seeing it was from Brittany.

_To Beth,_

_Hi I'm Brittany. I'm you're momma's best friend, I think. At least I was until Santana, my other best friend tried to get me not to be._

_I don't know why Mr Shue told us to write this letter. Something about our emotions about you. If I had feelings I wanted you to know about though I would tell you to your face._

_Beth I do have a serious issue to put forward to you though. You hurt your mom, you made her really sad and now she doesn't speak or come to school and I miss her so I was wondering if you could use your angel powers to make her happy again please. If you do I promise I'll pray to you as well as God and I won't fall asleep either._

_Please_

_Love Your Aunt Brittany_

Quinn hadn't realised she was crying until she noticed that the words were beginning to smudge, she wiped her eyes and put the letter back in the envelope to protect it.

For the first time in weeks she picked up her phone and saw she had some missed texts and calls, or lots.

She was surprised to see Brittany's number appearing so much. She opened the last text.

_Hey Q It's me again, Santana is getting mad that I keep talking about you but could you maybe text me back because I didn't even get to speak to you at glee. Luv Britt xx_

She sighed and pressed reply

_Sorry Britt. I'm fine stop texting so Santana doesn't get made. Q xx_

Hopefully that was a good enough excuse, almost instantly her phone begun to ring.

"Shit." She said but pressed the green phone

"Hey B."

"This isn't Brittany. It's Santana."

"San please just give me the phone." Quinn heard Brittany's voice in the background.

"Look you little creep I know you're all depressed but no need to make everyone else worried about you. Attention seeker." Then the line went dead.

Quinn sighed, couldn't wait to read Santana's letter

*Sorry that it's so short but four assignments at school, dancing all weekend and three other storys is kind of keeping me busy please review. Who's do you want next?*


	4. Ducks and Babies at the Park

*Sorry it took so long got banned from computer and had dancing (4 concerts got me bummed) and homework and other stories to update also I wasn't sure if it was McGeeGee or McGeeky*

It was almost noon when Quinn woke up to the little bumps on her window.

She wiped the spit of her mouth and got up to see what was making the noise on her window.

When she looked down at the bright green lawn she saw blonde hair and a cheerio's outfit.

"Oh Crap." She said slapping her face into her hand as another little pebble came flying at the window.

She crept downstairs although her mom was at work already.

"Britt." She said opening the door.

"QUINN!" the blonde screamed running over to the door and squashing the smaller blonde in a hug.

"I'm sorry about Santana's phone call! she got so angry she wouldn't even take me to see the ducks this morning." Quinn sighed, Brittany and her ducks.

"It's okay. If you want I'll give you some bread and you can go feed the ducks." Quinn said trying to get rid of the annoying blonde.

"Would you come?" Brittany pouted.

"I can't." Quinn sighed

"Why not?" Brittany tilted her head.

"Because I have to read the rest of the letters from the glee club." She said trying to look sad 'and Santana would kill me.' She thought to herself.

"Bring them!" Brittany said.

"Fine. I'll just go get ready." Quinn ran upstairs leaving Britt at the door.

The real reason Quinn didn't want to go was so obvious that she was surprised that not even Brittany could understand.

There were babies at the park.

X

"Oh crap Oh crap Oh crap!" Quinn muttered to herself.

The park was filled with babies, especially the duck pond.

"Britt I'm going for a walk." Quinn said handing Brittany the plastic bag that held the bread before running off.

Quinn didn't know where to run but found herself stopping at her favourite child hood hide out.

The big oak tree. Before she knew it Quinn was up in her favourite branch and grabbing another letter.

_To Drizzle,_

Quinn sighed. This would be an emotional letter!

_I know your name is Beth but I always wanted to call you Drizzle. I thought you were mine you know. Even though your real daddy is my best friend and your mommy is my ex girlfriend (Who I still may like) I will always think of you as my daughter to._

_I was really hoping Quinn would decide to keep you. Although Puck and I aren't talking much anymore I know he wanted to keep you. I can't understand why your mom would want to give something as precious as you away. Puck told me once while we were playing COD that he wanted to keep you and raise you, take you to ballet and beat up any boy who tried to hurt you. I told him I wanted to do the same when I thought you were mine._

_Puck told me that I could be your God Father so if anything happened to your parents I could have you. I don't think Quinn knows but that's okay she doesn't need to anymore._

_I miss you although I never met you and I miss your mom, she's not the same anymore._

_I was thinking of singing something to her this glee session but she ran off .I was going to go after her but Puck did instead. That's Puck. Taking all good things from me._

_I left McGeeky my blanket with your mom. If you were here I'd have given it to you anyway._

Quinn sighed. She didn't know Finn felt like that. She put the letter back away, she would make a reply later but now she just wanted to sit up in her tree.

"Excuse me." Came a voice from below just as Quinn had closed her eyes. It took her a moment to realise the person was talking to her. She jumped down from the tree.

"Yes." Quinn said politely after realising the voice was that of an elderly woman.

"Is this yours?" The lady held up a dirty bit of cloth. Quinn blushed.

"Thanks I must've dropped it." She recognised it to be McGeeky.

Quinn was about to get the blanket off the lady when she heard a soft whimper from somewhere near her knees.

Quinn peered down to see the lady had a pram.

"Sorry let me just check her." The old woman blushed as she bent down and lifted up the blanket covering the front of the stroller.

Before Quinn knew it she was crying too.

"Are you okay hun?" The lady asked when she was finished with the baby.

"Yeah I'm fine. Is she yours?" Quinn asked wiping her eyes.

The lady let out a chuckle but her eyes were sad "No. My daughter's. She died a week after Savannah was born. The father wasn't interested so I took her in." Quinn nodded.

"I know how you feel." The lady looked up quizzically.

"I lost my daughter too." The lady pulled Quinn into a hug.

"I'm Meryl by the way." She said when she released Quinn.

"Quinn." The younger girl smiled.

They were distracted once again but this time by the sounds of sirens.

"Oh Dear!" Meryl gasped, "Something happened at the pond!" Quinn turned around to see a crowd of people near the pond and to ambulance officers with a stretcher on their way over.

"Sorry but my friends over there. I must check that she's alright." Quinn said running over.

X

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Santana squealed when she came out of room 123. Quinn scooted father back in her chair, "You didn't even watch her! She could've died!"

Quinn just cried.

"Oh Okay act all innocent and make me seem bad for caring about Britt." Santana grabbed Quinn's top and pulled her up. "Give me answers! What the hell happened!" Santana raised her free hand.

The rest of the glee club sat there silently.

"I went for a- for a walk. There were sirens. Britt was unconscious. It's all I know!" Quinn gasped.

"That's it!" Santana yelled.

"SANTANA!" Mr Shue appeared back from the cafe with Finn and Puck. He handed Puck his coffee and ran over.

"What I'm just asking how my best friend nearly got killed." Santana smirked as she let go of Quinn shoving her to the floor.

"I'm going to go. Give Britt my love." Quinn muttered as she stood up and left the waiting room.

"I'll uh take her home." Finn said before dashing after her.

Why did this always happen to her? Why!

*Santana's letter is most likely next. Reviews will give me more heart to update sooner*


	5. She actually caresor not!

*So I'm supposed to be doing hw right now but I got so many reviews that I'm ditching all other stories and homework (due tomorrow) to get this to you guys a.s.a.p and thanks for the reviews . I used to be hardcore Fuinn shipper but now I love their friendship. BTW anyone seen little Santana SO CUTE I WANNA TAKE HER HOME!*

*Also have I done disclaimer? I don't own glee (I freaking wish!)*

When Quinn got home she wanted to lie on her bed and cry but first she had to do something.

She opened the bag that had been in her hand the whole time and looked for Santana's letter.

_Dear Beth,_

_This letter will probably be made up of complete lies because I don't want to spill my guts out to a dead baby unless I get all mushy (which believe it or not happens to me the ice queen) and spill all my emotions. Oh God now I'm talking about my emotions they're gonna come gushing out of me._

_Well I better start from the beginning. _

_Your mom and I met in preschool at the age of four when I kicked her sandcastle down (I was a bitchy child and hers looked better than mine). After that we just sort of became friends. When we were in elementary school we would walk to my house and she'd stay until 5 (she had to go to ballet class or gymnastics which ever she had that night) and each weekend we'd have a sleepover. Then in grade 6 a new girl moved across from me. Her name was Brittany. I hated her but Quinn said we had to be nice. Quinn's Gran died so she had to go out of town for the funeral and she was staying for the whole week. I didn't want to be a loner so I hung out with the new girl, when I came back Quinn rejoined us but it wasn't the same, especially once she became the head of the group._

_I'm not one who remembers those things in life that you should (except for the nights with Puck. I can see why you were created he was good!) but a couple of weeks ago when we were in the waiting room (waiting for you to join us) I kept getting this flashbacks of a little version of me and your mom playing dolls. I clearly remember myself saying "7 is such a young age to be a mom! Last night on the TV my mommy and daddy were watching a show about a real mommy who was 16!" and your mom responded "That's stupid no one has a kid at sixteen! You have to be married first! I'm going to get married when I'm twenty-five then I will have three children two boys and a little girl." Well thanks for ruining her plan kiddo._

_When you died I didn't want to go to the funeral (I acted like it was because I didn't care about you or Quinn) but really I couldn't see her cry while trying to hold my rep and not comfort her. Quinn may not know but in the end I came with dark sunglasses and sat in the back row sobbing (don't tell anyone!)_

_I think I kind of hate you. You ruined what was left of my relationship with Quinn (and stopped me from sleeping with Puck for a while) but hopefully that means one day we can fully restore it._

_Okay I just looked up and everyone else is kind of finished writing so I'll just a stop now._

_Xx Santana_

Quinn couldn't believe when she finished reading that she wasn't crying, she was smiling!

The blonde girl put the envelope down and jumped up off her bed to grab her photo album.

She flicked through the pages looking slowly at each picture (they all involved Santana) until she found the one of them with their dolls.

She slid it out of the cover and put it in the envelope Santana's letter had come in, on the back she scribbled

_Love you Ana ;) hope we can be friends again too (sorry for being a depressed chicken the past few weeks and sorry about Britt.) Call me if you want to talk.  
XX Quinnie_

She copied Santana letter and put the original in the envelope before placing it back in the bag.

She should reply to Finn's letter too but doing simple things like the photo was easier.

Quinn reached into her pocket and found McGeeky still in there.

_Please give it to your own child. Thanks for being so caring. Love you Finn. _She scribbled on a bit of paper before copy what she did with Santana's letter.

Just as she had put them in the second bag which had one other reply (Rachel's letter) she heard a knock on her door.

"Quinnie." Her mom called

"Yeah mom." She asked lying back on her bed as her mom walked in.

"I came to see how you were. I heard about the park incident, Mr Shue called to see if you were okay. Why didn't you tell me?" Judy Fabray asked sitting on the edge of Quinn's double bed.

"I'm okay I guess, I just didn't want to talk about it." Quinn sighed rubbing her eyes sleepily

"You mean talk about it with me." Quinn shrugged, how did her mom know? "Sweety I know we've never been close but when I was little I dreamed of having a little girl who'd tell me all her secrets and problems. I missed that chance with Franny and now you need me and I'm missing it with you. Please Quinn we have lots to talk about so let's do it now!" Her mother begged.

"Okay. Well we could start with the fact that you kicked me out when I needed you most. Why?" Quinn could see her mom regretting that she asked but it served her right, Quinn needed answers.

"Quinn you don't understand-" Judy started

"That's why you need to tell me." Quinn urged her mother

"Well you know how Daddy could be a bit temperamental? Yes. Well he threatened me. I couldn't do anything as much as I wanted to. I understood Quinnie you made a mistake."

"Whatever."

"Quinn please I let you back didn't I." Her mother pleaded

"Yeah but you still kicked me out. Your own daughter. It hurts mom, to know your own family doesn't want you because of a mistake which I recently found out you and Daddy made too!"

"Just because we made it doesn't mean it's okay for you to as well and at least we were out of school and engaged just not married ." Quinn rolled her eyes.

"You always do this mom get all defensive! I thought we could have a nice chat."

"You're just like your father!" Quinn and Judy froze.

"Bye mom!" the younger blonde muttered as she got up.

"Quinnie wait! I didn't mean it!" Her mother pleaded as Quinn pulled on her jacket and grabbed the bag of letters and replies.

"That's what you always say. You're one of those people who doesn't deserve children." And with that Quinn left her house for the second time that year.

*DO you guys like Santana now? If I get my homework done I'll update another chapter tonight (my tonight your morning)


	6. New Home

*Okay so homework took longer than I thought sorry but anyways*

Quinn walked along the streets. The sun was starting to set and she'd been walking for a while. Quinn thought maybe she should go home, her mom would be going crazy!

Suddenly a car pulled up beside her.

She recognised it instantly

"Santana? Aren't you at the hospital?" She asked as the Latina rolled down her tinted window.

"Brittany's on her way home in her mom's car. I was just going to pick up some sour worms to cheer her up when I saw you."

"Oh." Quinn looked at her feet. "I'm sorry about not looking out for Britt properly."

Santana shrugged wanting to keep her HBIC rep in good condition "Guess it's okay I mean she's fine but if it happens again-" Santana was beginning to raise her voice.

"I read your letter to Beth!" Quinn blurted out. Santana paused.

"Oh. And?" Quinn shrugged

"Here's your reply. I got to go." Quinn said handing her old best friend the envelope before walking in the other direction to what she had planned."

X

Now it was almost completely dark when Quinn decided she should probably go home.

No she didn't want to see her mom but where else would she go now Brittany was also out of the option.

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice. Quinn looked up to see she was in an unfamiliar street. That was strange Quinn knew basically every street in Lima.

Quinn turned to the voice to see Meryl on the veranda of a small house, she was on the phone.

It took the blond a minute to decide on whether or not to go tell her Brittany was okay but when Meryl saw her the decision was made.

"Hi Quinn! How's your friend?" She called as Quinn made her way to the veranda

"Brittany's Fine she got discharged about an hour ago. Our other friend was a bit mad t me but she usually is anyway."

"Oh well as long as she's okay. Would you like me to drive you home it's dark and your parents must be worried."

"No it's okay. I'm kind of mad at my mother so I came for a walk to cool off. I'm a bit worried to go back she could kick me out again or she could go all mushy and protective." Quinn was half tellin herself.

"Your mother kicked you out! Oh sweety! I know you don't know me but please come any time you like and stay as long as you want! Would you like a cup of tea." Meryl asked as she ushered the teenager inside.

"Yes please. Where's Savannah?" Quinn asked looking around the cute house. It only had seven rooms and they were all pretty small.

"Oh she should be waking up from her nap soon." As if on cue there was a cry, "I better get her." Meryl muttered heading into the bedroom at the far end of the hallway.

Quinn followed curious to see some more of the house.

"Yuck she's made a mess in her pants." Meryl sighed as she lifted up her granddaughter.

"Would you like me to change her while you make the tea?" Quinn offered.

"Yes please that would be a great help darling!" Meryl said handing Quinn the little baby.

At first Quinn felt sad that this baby wasn't Beth but Savannah probably felt the same about Quinn not being her mom.

The blonde quickly changed the diaper, thank god it was only number one.

Quinn didn't mind changing it. Not that she was a perv but she loved the way the baby giggled when she blew raspberries on her stomach.

"Is everything okay in there?" Meryl asked opening the door as Quinn finished buttoning up the pink jump suite Savannah was dressed in.

"Sorry I just got distracted playing with her." Meryl nodded as they headed out to the kitchen.

"So how old is she?" Quinn asked as she played with Savannah who was now strapped into her high chair.

"9 months. Her mother died 2 months ago and I'm struggling to remember how to look after a baby." Meryl said openly

"My daughter Beth would be around 2 months now. She was still born." Meryl nodded

"Is that why your parents kicked you it?"

"Yeah. My family are very Christian and for me to get pregnant at 16 was not good for their reputation. I got so made when I found out they had my older sister before they were married. I've been from house to house the past few months, if I had the money I'd buy my own. I could go back to Mercede's but I feel like I'm taking my stay for granted and Finn well I thought he hated me but who knows now. I could go to Puck's but his mom hates me and only let me stay for her grandchild, was planning on keeping her." Quinn realised she was babbling and blushed.

"Wow. Sounds like you've had it tough." Quinn nodded as her eyes began to water

The two grieving mothers spent another few hours talking before Meryl suggested something

"Quinn would you like to live here with me and Savannah?" she had said suddenly

"Pardon?" Did Quinn just imagine that?

"Well I have my daughter's room which no one uses and I do need someone to babysit for me."

"If you don't mind, just for a few days." Quinn said nodding her head.

"Well I can drop you home and you can get your things and come back tomorrow."

"Thanks." Quinn said as they got up.

X

"You're leaving me again? For some lady you met in the park."

"Yes cause I bet any lady I met in the park would care about me more."

"Quinn can't you at least stay with Mercedes?" Quinn shook her head.

"Bye Mom." Quinn said grabbing her old cheerios bag and heading off to the park where she'd arranged to meet Meryl, on the way she planned to drop off Finn's reply.

X

"There you are sweety I was beginning to worry about you. How'd your mom take it?" Meryl asked when she arrived.

"Not to good but that's okay." Quinn said putting her bag in the back of the little silver car.

When they got back to the tiny house Quinn decided it was time to read another letter.

_Dear Beth,_

_Well my name is Kurt Hummel and I'm one of your mom's new best friends._

_I just want to say lucky you for dying. You don't have to live in this hellhole world of ours._

_I was a bit disappointed as I was looking forward to dressing you up in all these cute little outfits (I already had a baby Marc Jacobs designer jacket for you._

_Can I tell you a secret Beth? I mean I know you can't answer but I also know you can't tell anyone and I need to tell someone who can't fight against me._

_I want to die._

_This world is a living hell for me. I'm different to everyone else at my school. I'm open and I express myself but others don't appreciate that._

_I don't want Mercedes, Quinn or Tina to find out about this though because they'll stop me and I'll regret it._

_Thanks for letting me get that off my chest._

_Might see you soon._

_Kurt_

Quinn was so angry as soon as she finished reading she ripped the paper and tossed it away.

"Where are you going sweety?" Meryl asked as Quinn stormed out.

"I have to see a friend. They're going to do something stupid!" Quinn barley sore Meryl nod as she left the house to hunt down Kurt.

*Sorry I took so much longer than I thought but lack of reviews for last chapter sort of gunned me a bit. What will happen to Kurt?*


	7. Saving Kurt

*this chapter is dedicated to a very special girl who was a massive gleek! She passed away on the 13th just before her 12th birthday. Love you Bee!*

*also disclaimer I don't own anything*

*sorry no letter in this chapter*

Quinn ran as fast as she could. It was pointless though. Kurt had written the letter a few days before. For all she knew he could be dead.

When she finally reached the Hummel household she bashed on the door until Burt answered.

"Hello." He said as he opened the door "Quinn right?" Quinn nodded as she tried to catch her breath enough to speak.

"Is K-Kurt home," She puffed almost cheering when Burt nodded.

"Kurt you have a friend here!" He yelled into the house.

"1 minute I'm getting changed." Came a high pitched voice.

"So uh why don't you come in? Did you run here?" Quinn nodded as she followed Burt in.

They sat in the kitchen awkwardly waiting for Kurt to come up. Burt obviously knew of Quinn's situation which made it even more awkward.

"So how have you been?" He finally asked when Kurt hadn't arrived after five minutes.

"Oh um okay I guess." Quinn was now taping her foot on the stool nervously. What if Kurt was killing himself right now?

"That's uhh good." Burt said nodding.

"Can I go down and wait for Kurt?" Quinn asked suddenly.

"Yeah sure. I have to get back out to the garage anyway. Nice seeing you Quinn." Quinn barley heard the end of the sentence as she bolted to the stairs that led to Kurt's basement bedroom. Leaving Burt puzzled.

"Kurt it's me Quinn." She called down as soon as Burt was in the garage.

"Quinn?" she heard him say quizzically before opening the door, "Hey Quinn. What are yo-" Kurt didn't finish because Quinn threw herself on him almost making them both fall down the stairs.

"Quinn what's up?" he asked when she finally released him enough to breathe.

"I uh Please don't die!" she said pulling him into a hug even tighter than the last.

"die?" took Kurt a minute to realise she'd read his letter to Beth, "Let's talk about this Quinn." He said detaching her enough so they could get down the stairs and sit on the bed.

"Kurt-"

"Quinn-" they cut each other off.

"You first." They both said at the same time before laughing.

"Look Kurt I read your letter to Beth. I just came to tell you that there's too much for you to just quit. Also if I ever loose someone else I might kill myself." Quinn said as more tears began to roll down her soft cheeks.

"I'm sorry Quinn. The time I wrote the letter was bad for me but I decided I can last another fifty years."

"No seventy!" Quinn said hugging him yet again, "You should've told someone how you felt."

"Yes like you can speak."

"I'm suffering from the loss of my child. Not something that is easily fixed. You on the other hand-

"I'm suffering that Mercedes and I aren't talking, I get bullied everyday and then find out that my bully is just like me, my other best friend is suffering from depression and my dad had a heart attack. Because that's pretty simple." Quinn looked confused.

"Wait you and Mercedes are fighting? Karofsky's gay? Okay how come I knew non of this?"

"Yeah 'Cedes got mad at me last Monday when I complained about my figure and how pale I was she said try being a fat black chick and before I could apologise she stormed off and hasn't spoken to me since. Also Karofsky kissed me in the locker room after we argued. He's denying it though." Kurt said shrugging.

"So you're not going to suicide or even think of it anymore?"

"if you come back to school and sleepover next Friday I promise I never will again!"

"I don't know I live a bit far away now and getting to school is a hassle."

"Quinn Fabray flunking? WOW what crack are you on? You moved? Did your dad like take your house?" Quinn shrugged

"Whatever and no Mom still has it but I'm not living with her, I'm living with this old lady I met at the park the other day."

"Are you sure that she's safe?"

"Well I guess. She needs my help anyway her daughter died and she was left with the granddaughter who I'm babysitting in return for the stay."

"You're babysitting yet you can't even come to school?" Kurt grumbled

"Well I don't know she's not like Beth would be. I'll go to school tomorrow but if I even get a look-" Quinn warned Kurt.

"Thank you! I can pick you up text me the address later." Kurt said as they got up.

"Okay thanks Kurt. Don't suicide." She said as she hugged him

"See you tomorrow." He called as she walked down the driveway he blew her a kiss.

X

"I'm home." Quinn called into the house. That was strange she could hear Savannah crying.

Quinn wondered why Meryl wasn't getting her, maybe she was in the back yard.

"Shhh Savannah." Quinn said lifting her out of the cot. Gee she stunk. "Don't worry Gran's just outside. I'll give you a bath." She told the baby as she stripped of the soiled diaper and wrapped the little girl in a towel as she went to look for Meryl.

First Quinn checked the back yard but it was empty. Then she began to panic. "MERYL! MERYL?" She called but she didn't hear a sound.

'Maybe she's resting.' Quinn thought sighing in relief as she headed towards the older woman's bedroom.

When she got there she saw Meryl but she wasn't resting in bed, she was lying on the floor, eyes shut and unmoving.

"Oh No! NO!" Quinn cried placing Savannah on the bed before checking Meryl's pulse. She found it and grabbed the phone.

"911, 911." She muttered to herself as she dialled the numbers into the phone with shaking hands.

"Hello you've called emergency services what do you need today?" The voice of a calm lady came through the speakers.

"Ambulance." Quinn didn't register what she said for the rest of the phone call but as soon as the ambulance was gone she put Savannah in the bath and called Kurt.

"Hello?" Kurt said

"Kurt!"

"Quinn hey what's wrong?"

"Can you come by I need you to take me to the hospital." The distressed blonde cried into the phone

"Okay why?"

"I'll explain when you get here. Hurry!" Quinn didn't even say goodbye as she hung up.

X

"She'll be fine." Kurt said for the millionth time as he rubbed circles on Quinn's back.

"You said that about Beth too." Quinn finally remarked.

"Stop being difficult. Maybe if you thought more positive."

"Says the guy who was going to kill himself." Quinn muttered rolling her eyes.

"You were going to what?" Finn asked looking up from the baby in his lap.

"What are you on about Finn." Kurt asked dismissively, Finn looked confused but didn't ask anything else.

"Why did you bring him?" Quinn asked.

"He heard you and wanted to make sure you were okay. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to the restroom." Kurt said standing up.

Now was Quinn's chance. She moved two seats along so she was next to Finn.

"So I read your letter to Beth."

"Oh." He said avoiding eye contact.

"I thought it was sweet." She said forcing a faint smile.

"umm thanks."

"I brought you something too." Finn looked up to see McGeeky dangling in front of him.

"Th-thanks." He said blushing as he took the little blanket

"It's okay it's yours anyway." Quinn said shrugging.

"Are you here for Meryl Tenderlon? You can see her now." A doctor said from the door Meryl was wheeled into a few hours before. Quinn nodded and stood up.

"I'll wait here." Finn mumbled.

*Oohh will Meryl survive? Please review


	8. Decisions

*so haven't be getting many reviews but anyway even if your being kind of mean and not reviewing enjoy anyway. But I guess I deserve it since I'm taking so long to update!*

"Meryl!" Quinn said rushing to the hospital bed.

"Quinn." Meryl's voice was a raspy whisper.

"I'm so glad you're okay. Do you remember what happened?"

"I'm not okay but I'm alive." Meryl paused for breath "I forgot, or more so just skipped telling you." Meryl blushed "I'm sick Quinn."

"What! With what?" Quinn asked as her hands flew to her mouth in shock.

"Well we're not quite sure. I probably won't live until next year though." Meryl said staring into Quinn's eyes.

"So you set me up hoping if you died I would look after Savannah." Quinn guessed.

"No. Not quite. In my will she was going to be given to my son Mathew but if you wanted I'd rather you did have her." Meryl said quietly

"Oh. Is there a cure?" Quinn asked as she thought of something else to say.

"If they don't know what it is how can they cure it?" Meryl chuckled raising a thing grey eyebrow.

"whoops." Quinn mumbled turning a deep scarlet colour.

"I want you to go home. Visit tomorrow if you must but I don't like visitors much." Meryl said dismissing Quinn.

X

As Quinn tried to sleep in her new bed her mind was quickly filling with thoughts.

'why didn't Meryl tell her?'

'what would she do if Meryl died?'

'Could she look after a baby?'

'What about school?'

The next morning Quinn woke up or more so got out of bed since she didn't actually get any sleep.

_Not coming today maybe next week. Thanks for the help last night you're a great friend! Tell everyone I say hi. Xx Q_

"I should probably do something like cleaning!" Quinn muttered to herself after sending the text to Kurt.

Quinn started off with the bathroom s it was already quite clean unlike the rest of the house. Quinn spent the whole morning cleaning but stopped a bit before lunch when she found a letter under the couch.

_To whoever finds this,_

_I'm sorry I took my life this way, that I didn't live for another day._

_I was sick of the riddles and rhymes and all the world with its sick crime._

_Don't miss me much for I am safe, Heaven is a better place._

_Just remember I love you and hope you'll join me one day too._

Quinn recognised the writing but she wasn't sure where. It wasn't Meryl's. Quinn tucked the note in her pocket before sitting down for lunch.

That afternoon Carole Hudson dropped by to see how Quinn was doing.

"Hey honey." The motherly voice had said as Quinn opened the door.

"CAROLE!" She had nearly screamed, "What are you doing here?" Quinn grabbed her into a hug.

"I came to check on you sweety! Don't think Finn and Kurt haven't told me anything." She said following Quinn into the kitchen.

"This one's adorable!" Carole said tickling Savannah who giggled in her high chair.

"Yeah. She and Beth would've been best friends." Quinn said thoughtlessly.

"How are you getting along?" Carole asked placing her hand over Quinn's.

"I'm getting better. I was going to come back to school but then all this happened." Carole nodded slowly,

"Look Quinn. I'd like you to move back in with us. We live in a bigger house with Burt and Kurt now and you'd get your own room this time." Carole said looking into Quinn's hazel green eyes.

"I-I don't know I mean Meryl needs me!" Quinn stammered

"No Quinn. She doesn't."

"yes she does. I need her too."

"Quinn you need an adult and you need to feel secure to be able to enjoy your last few years of youth." Quinn opened her mouth but Carole continued first "You met Meryl no more than a week ago and you have no idea who she is. I understand she needs help with Savannah but you need help too!"

"Yeah I guess." Quinn shrugged suddenly backing down

"So what are you going to do?" Carole asked after a few minutes.

"I guess I'll move in with you, but first I want to find a relative for Savannah to stay with and tell Meryl." Carole nodded "I'll organise it now and come over tonight when I'm done."

"Okay. Would you like a lift to the hospital?" Carole asked getting up

"No it's okay I'll take Meryl's car." Quinn waited for Carole to turn out of the driveway before heading back inside.

"I don't know what to do S." She sighed talking to the baby girl who was busy watching some children's show about a duck and a rabbit.

Quinn thought for an hour.

Contemplating running away, would she take Savannah with her if she did?

In the end Quinn decided to read another letter, but which one should she pick?

Artie's letter was the one she chose,

_Dear Beth,_

_Well this is awkward I mean I don't really know you or even your mom to well._

_I think I'll just tell you that your mom loves you very much! When you were in her stomach she always had a hand wrapped around it as if she was protecting you! _

_You really changed your mom! She stopped being the HBIC and started to care about people's feelings! _

_She was also a great dance partner! I would know as Mr Shue paired us together so many times cause we were the cripple and the prego. At least maybe now she can get a proper dance partner, if she ever actually comes back to school._

_Your dad loves you too by the way. I saw it in his eyes when we sung Beth to your mom._

_Well that's all I really want to say because I have nothing else to say._

_Who knew writing a letter to a baby could be this awkward!_

_Anyway bye._

"Well I can't run away now. Artie needs a dance partner!" Quinn giggled to herself. It was strange, each new letter had a different meaning and a different relationship that Quinn didn't even know she had.

"Guess we better go the hospital S." Quinn told the baby as she begun to pack her things back into the small purple suitcase she'd brought.

"Wait, you mean you're leaving me and Savannah?" Meryl asked as she bounced her grand daughter on her lap.

"Yes. I'm sorry but I can't deal with this. I'm trying to build my life up again not tear it further." Quinn tried not to show her emotion too much.

"Be that way then. Of all people Quinn I thought you'd help me." Meryl said looking down

"Don't you play the guilt card on me. I hardly know you."

"But you need me." Meryl insisted,

"No I don't. You think I do cause you need me. I saw a picture, I know I look like your daughter." Meryl gasped

"Quinn I'm just trying to help you." She continued to insist.

"Carole was right you're just a batty lady I met in the park and decided to trust." Quinn frowned before leaving.

*so once again sorry sorry sorry sorry! I'll try and update soon promise!

Please review!*


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